Earth, Milky Way, 2013.
Aliens plan attack on Earth because of decades of gross misrepresentation. A translated intercepted long duration gamma-ray burst, thought to be emitted not from radioactive decay but rather from the astronomical collapse of a hypernovae, one of the most powerful cosmic events, has led top astronomical analysts to decoding. What they have gathered seems to be the disembarking message of an entire culture of foreign bodies, capable of collapsing their planet and communicating as well.
The emitted messages are in high energies of 10 TeV, which spacecrafts received and photographed by projections on planes constructed of materials with sufficiently high atomic number. Since reception, analysts have deciphered a warning message utilizing federal agencies' currently furloughed forensic artists to produce the above image with the following warning: We are not happy with our depictions as big-headed, slimy, drooling, leaping creatures. We are coming to eradicate.
We caught up with Jaime Theorey, Astrophysicist, Analyst, and President of Nexgalaxy Acquisitions, Inc., who confirmed these findings and his role as consultant. No stranger to social media and this report's outlets, Theorey urged the public not to panic. At least until the analysis proved the rays were of hypernovaec origins and not bremsstrahlung, and furthermore, that were they indeed from a hypernovae-inducing culture, that a black hole were not henceforth created into which they disappeared.
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