Saturday, October 5, 2013

Lab Tests Show Baleen Teeth Advantageous for Filtering Bad Air - Pollution not a Problem

Pawtuckaway, NY.

Graduates from Colombia University, Rohahd Jiminez and Paul Nixon concluded results from a 5-year collaboration on a theory proposed over french fries and burgers shared in Shanghai 7 years ago:

If mammals such as humans breathed through baleen teeth in environments with polluted air, they would have fewer health issues courtesy of self-filtering.

Their positive results tested on rats in toxic environments will be published in this month's subscription to Times Magazine, heralding a new line of surgery and genetic modifications for monkeys and subsequently humans should the genetically more proximate monkeys prove a success as well. The ramifications of such a discovery has both the EPA and toxin-producing companies worldwide reeling at the possibilities, wiring funds into the research of Jiminez and Nixon and labs of their own, disrespectively.

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